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    5/31/2008

    失眠

      穿着拖鞋,提两个热水壶,一个人走。经过下沉广场的时候,路灯突然熄灭,心猛地一抽,走到五号楼下,又一盏灯熄灭,于是哭了。
      不知道从什么时候起开始害怕黑暗,莫名的恐惧,看自己以前的博客,那时候的夜晚是多么美好。
      “凌晨的三点半,一盏灯、一张碟、一块画板、一支笔和一张纸。一个在黑暗中寻觅光明的我。”
      “英雄黑墨水流于纸面之上,如同奇异的花朵在清冷的夜中诗意绽放。”
      记得高三暑假时听到一句话,“腹有诗书气自华”,意思是多读一点书心里容易有底气。于是上大学以后坚持每天睡前看半小时书,各种各样的文字。很自在的习惯,倏忽一下,便坚持了快四年,直到这个春天。
      于是于是,西安的夏天猛烈地到来了。找不到一个临界点,面对黑夜,突然变得脆弱不堪一击,除了失眠,什么事情都做不了。翻书仅仅成为一个姿势,而上面说了什么,全然不知觉。睡不着的时候会在床上翻来覆去以寻找最好的姿势,双手平放在腹部,脸孔朝上,塞一副耳机,找一首没有歌词的音乐单曲循环,不知道什么时候好不容易睡着,又不知道什么时候被耳机线缠绕的噩梦惊醒。
      是的,多事之春,生活不时有陌生的人陌生的事冒然闯入,令人措手不及,心情于是变得复杂。
      换了凉席,床板很硬,余震不断,常常惊慌,还有很多很多事情,关于亲人关于朋友……
      我已经失眠很久了。
      过好一点,洁洁。

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    luoluo Uwrote:
    睡惯了以前宿舍的硬板床,到了这边也经常失眠
    June 1

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